Asscavern & Jet Jaguar KR3 Kill Spree

The Cavern_EdOk, so there’s two groups that you have probably never heard of, unless you are one of the most tenacious, autocephalic, crypt-raiding, independently-sourcing & intransigently-intrepid LURPS-like deep-density-explorers running off the kind of pure renegade fervency that so’ so rarely finds a host in today’s barren paste-land of tube-fed monopolized-media miseducated morons & couch-negatos.

There’s always someone that transcends logical progression & will jump a whole series of evolutionary frames & drastically escalate or indeed, upend entirely, the genre or rubric they are operating in. These two incomparably mutated outfits redefined the whole sonic-scape & took the whole professional-demolition & “Anti-Listener” decimation proficiency to a barely fathomable vertex with tons of idiosyncrasy & lashings of perfectionist experimental birth defects & phonic deformity.

Asscavern- King Of All Kongs (Bleg Excerpt)

Let’s start with Asscavern from Chicago. Industrial-Blur-Distortion-Noise-Machine-Grind-Warp-Death..essemplasticating turbo shredding, fast-picked, skin-stripping Extreme Death Metal & total free-form non-notational Blurcore/Noisecore guitars, multi-layered, sometimes triple programmed Drum Machine overkill, so mastic it’s almost at solid consistency (actually, at times it is completely tonal) with a supra severe-saturation of blasts but mostly “Blur” with retarded barely decipherable beat-density that sounds closer to torrential rain on corrugated iron roofing, Noise – from pretty much every contrasting source & stylistic but particularly Industrial influence ambiances, FX & majorly modified/software manipulated contortion & misshaping with reams of distortions. Oh, & there’s more, elements & virals of Breakcore & IDM, more in phonetic signatory but occasionally as actual source, septic seemingly Sludgecore Noise dredge & finally, the inane intoxicated idiocy, á-la Retardcore, very reminiscent to the Ohio/Reality Impaired fellowship of ignoramus. Throw in a smattering of suitably ludicrous samples & miscellaneous garbage of the ilk & imagine it all assiduously assembled & offloaded through high-end equipment. It’s always interesting when somebody takes the least listenable mediums & modicums but actually makes tremendous effort (an extremely’ extremely rare occurrence) & care with their construction & crafting. Asscavern are frequently beyond music & are entrenched in User-Hostile fanaticism like mythical-inveterate- hardliners. There is skill, effort, expertise, investment, & evidently the presence of decent equipment & recording technology/calculus, but if not immolating with the most unforgiving drum-machine bolstered Blast-scald, A-Cav were way’ way out in the woods in a toxic shroud of limitless over-distorted mulch & unsurpassed NoiseGrindWarp, that was really closer to total Noise due to the lack of space & the barely intelligible separation of notes/beats/screams. Off the hook? It’s very difficult to do it any justice with words. The band were, & still are completely in a class of their own & make the more famous “extreme drum-machine” bands like ANB etc just look like diluted low-fat cottage cheese. Rather than quick bursts of aggression, Acav went for the sustained, inescapable onslaught, with massive protractions of entirely unremittent vaporization, Hard-Vacuum & harsh hyper-Blur. The expertise, high-end equipment, recording techniques & the obvious devotion just make the whole thing that much more extraordinary. Asscavern pulled in a bunch of misfitting miscreants from the local Chi-Town Grind & Extreme Death scene for collaborations, but the real reprobate behind this unthinkable obtuse anvil smasher was Donkey, who did all the programming, samples, Noise, arrangements, most of the guitars & all vocals. As if this monstrous miscarriage of music was not enough of an achievement, the fucking loon went on to found the greatest Gunk band of all time – Bollock Swine & lay-down some of the fastest most erratic & noisy guitar-blur EVER committed to audio. subject wise is where Asscavern blew their feet off below the knees, or at least so it seems. Although, as you can imagine, almost none of the lyrics are recognizable amongst the mutilated melange, The Caverns nonsensical, handicapped, ridiculous, insult-fixated, taboo throttling, blasphemous, obscenity replete lurid & lunatic idiot fest seemed to want to ululate everything that’s forbidden or considered off limits in a clearly sardonic & deliberately desecrating confluence of stupendous social-impudence that’s probably more tongue-in-arse than tongue-in-cheek. Although not at all to my taste, there is a kind of heh!, – “idiot’s intellect” in this bon-fire of acceptable language & flagrancy-frolicking with it’s own utterly asinine-humour. I feel though, that this was probably to the bands detriment & closed certain doors due to unfounded offense at their playful vulgarity & imbecilic insistence.


JJKR3KS – King Koopa (Bleg Excerpt)

Further South in Memphis, another strain of enhanced genetic aberrant was on the verge of escaping it’s gestating cube. Really, the only entity capable of challenging the preternatural firepower of Asscavern was Jet Jaguar KR3 Kill Spree, who rewrote the gene codes with over-intricate, scolar-schitzo, premium-paranoia Cyber-Noisecore-Avant-Blur-Biomek cybernetic efflorescence sample encrusted outrage of the most disjointed, unpredictable, Noise-FX-Distortion-Synth uber-argue digital-disease-disection with striking sophistication & impropriety. Utilizing synths, masses of samples, programming, software editing, Noise pedals & other Stridor inductive devices & FX, FX-riddled vocals & of course – a drum machine, the freak conjured distraught phono-permutations & cataclysmically flustered & astatic, frayed, utterly asymmetrical incessantly self-interrupting infinitely incongruous ultra outré harsh & frenzied weird-wrought Avant Anti-Listener Cyber Noisecore digital delirium with a strong analog, organic axis (the band was not a clean software-spawned computer project & has a blatant sound & genome/provenience in “real time”). Determined & devised entirely by it’s sole founder – Dr Goro Ibuki, Jet Jag splices extremely involuted science-fiction prose & assiduous arcane academia with counter-narrative, conspiracy obsessed theorizing flaunting a bitter, bordering on psychoses, distrust/hatred of the Intelligence services & state surveillance. The realms of real & imagined, vehement protest & art form, solemnity/seriousness & uproarious exalted chaos are thoroughly disorientated & cross-bread into some uncategorizable seventh species. Jet Jag’s form of drum programming also needs notation. The early material such as the split 10”LP with France’s FztFwrd & the North Pole Nano Plague tracks that appeared on the DRF compilation CD featured massively mutated drum sound-source from a unique percussive texture that had obviously been tailored specifically for KR3. The drum patterns also were a total fractured clonus scrimmage of multi-directional non-binary oddness & intensity, replete on ridiculous florid anachronistic dissimilation & tons of Blurbeats & primo-blast. In conflicting categorical’s, KR3 managed to portray exceptionally phrenic intellectual astuteness whilst simultaneously being a vanguard-veteran of obstreperous User-Hostile severity not to mention being one of the weirdest, completely none-imitational outfits in any music spectrum you care to choose from.

Both goliaths evolved differently. Asscavern just seemed to get better, purging the less effective segments (the slower retardo-Sludge & the less withering Death Metal/Grind) & firing the envelope further & further into ridiculousness. JJKR3’s earliest eructation’s are for me Ibuki at his best, although his proceeding split 7”EP with Nee is a masterpiece of surreality & stentorious severity, opting for more precision, more high-quality harsh noise & antiphonic Electronics with sharper drum programming & sound. The much later KR3 was more abstract, erudite & clean & generally less aligned & involved with it’s CyberMachineGrind NoiseGrind origins & umbilical. Asscavern are fairly obscure, not just for being clearly way too overpowering & extreme, but because without close inspection they appear to be one of the many atrocious scato-centric poor quality bedroom machine-porno-grind bands that so badly tarnished the genre with tons of cheap tenuous garbage. Nothing could be further from the truth, but this total misconception coupled also with people taking the bands topical obscenities way more seriously than they clearly should has left this monstrous genius & unsurpassed master of peak Anti-Listener, Torikowashi harsh Hard-Vacuum, Blur, Warp Noisecore sold short of the blatant dominion the unit has so obviously attained.

For those souls seeking the most strenuous & emphatically individualistic oddities in the Grindnoise, No-Skool-Noyzcore, Blur/Blast User-Hostile absurdity & most far-out, abstruse intense & unique sonic delicacies of genre-defiant-rarity, nothing comes close to these freaks & I consider them the most innovative & inimitable, distinctive & important pioneers of the territory of the last 15 years + that ignored the attenuation & stagnation of their peers & continued on their own teratoid path through the uncharted territories. A somewhat hidden but critically important & indelible part of Noise/Anti-Listener history.


Asscavern/Jet Jaguar KR3 Kill Spree/Hinyouki-split CD:

Asscavern-JJKR3-HinyoukiAsscavern are just out of control! Five tracks to permanently alter gravitational law, their best recording thus far, nothing compares! Jet Jag with the new refined, sleek megalo-armour & cybernetic implants courtesy of the erbium institute & Hibiki Industries… a triumph of barely describable weirdness & eccentricity & excessive micro-detail slathered in User-Hostile hazard. The “War On Terror” & it’s subsequent extermination-campaign on democratic freedoms get the Goro treatment as well as punctilious CIA & Secret Society denunciation & reviling. Spain’s Stridor spasticators Hinyouki also give us three joyous whoppers of their classic, harsh, hayashite ictus Stridor convulsion. Released on Lo-fi Or Die Records.

Jet Jaguar KR3 Kill Spree/Fzt Fwrd-split 10” LP:

JJKR3KS-FztFwrdThe quintessential brain-deliquesce… good-god! Jet Jag…what is it? out-of-no-where, like a teleport aperture to a future peregrine star colony light years away, the indescribable alien beast tip-toes/ slithers/gallops/flits & side-winds out of the time wastes to overwhelm with sensory-stimulus- stridency beyond belief. France’s FztFwrd make the perfect accomplice complimenting the deviant laboratory emergency with face –ripping Splittercore & fevered, nightmarish harsh Industrial Experimental Noise laced with IDM tangents. LOD’s first vinyl release on diaphanous purple wax. Utter classic!

Asscavern/Grindcorps split 7”EP:

Asscavern-Grind CorpsFour tracks of obliterating hyper-psychotic BlastBlurIndustrial NoiseMachineDeath from The Cavern with an improved formula. Canada’s Grind Corps level with hysterical drum-machine-focal Blur & Blast beat nonsense. Released on Tetsubishi Gob-Stopper with various coloured editions of vinyl.

Jet Jaguar KR3 Kill Spree/Nee-split 7”EP:

JJKR3-NeeA veritable classic of the most fucked-up & scintillating lapsus- Noise/Electronic /Humanoid/Extra-terrestrial/ Paranormal cacophonic conglobulation augmented by divergent CyberGrind/Extreme Drum-Machine & Noisecore pathogen spores… nothing has, nothing will, never was. Nee from Holland were also spectacular, with one of the fastest Gravity-Blast drummers & pure distortion-sodden unique No-Skool-Noyzore Blast-Blur. TGS Records.

DRF 99 track Compilation CD:

DRF compOne bunker-buster from The Cavern, signature super-being viciousness in a 00.57 second capsule. Eleven micro-incidents (the longest track being 19 seconds) of sensational cyber weirdness from KR3 as the North Pole Nano Plague collection, quite possibly my fondest JJKR3 material. Released on the notorious Lo-Fi Or Die Rex once again. Also features one of Dr Goro’s alternative projects Acura Geomancer (harsh-Micro-Noise with the expected flamboyance & individualistic mannerism) plus tons of exceedingly rowdy User-Hostile exotica.

Asscavern-Gingy Biligus Motamuchki CD:

Asscavern-GBMA-Cav’s first appearance in 98…an eleven track shocker that sunk the fucking podium entirely & washed away the previous geography like kids sand-castles against a storm-tide. HORRENDOUS!!! Released on Ever Flow Records.

Leg-Getter compilation CDR:

Leg-GetterJet Jaguar melds with cult-colossus, infamy soaked French Stridor/ Power Electronics/ Industrial Noise agitator Mourmansk 150 to actuate one of the most accomplished Harsh Noise recordings I have literally ever heard. Goro comes so hard on the erosion of civil-freedoms, reeling off a gigantic dissertation diatribe of post 9/11 government/secret service criminality, injustice & effacement of liberties in meticulous detail. Absolutely fucking astonishing! Released on the hyper-outlandish Erst-While Antrum records accompanied by some of the most kooked-out, abnormal & eclectic Poise-Spore/Gunk/Abnorm foibles you will ever hear.



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P.S. LOD logo wunkLo-Fi Or Die Records was the only label willing to release shit this destructive & off the scales. The label was a peerless magniloquent maverick with notorious temerity & acutely heterodox conduct that is still transmuting & agitating today with it’s bizarre doppelganger off-shoot Tesubishi Gob-Stopper.

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